Catch A Cheating Lover

As a retired TV newsman, I am constantly amazed at how much easier it is to communicate with people these days. There is high-speed Internet connections (wireless & otherwise), Cellphones, texting, BlueTooth, Blackberry's, and the list goes on.

We can talk at the touch of a button, across cities, countries, the entire world. It all makes for cheating on a mate even easier than ever. But there are ways to find the truth.

Using these digital protocols to be unfaithful is almost instant, fairly cheap and, most important to the cheater, completely private and hidden. Or, so they think.

Advancements in digital communication are, on the whole, a great thing when used to improve our daily lives. On the downside, cheating husbands, wives (or, for that matter, girlfriends or boyfriends) can communicate with their private lovers away from the prying eyes and ears of their trusting partners. It happens every minute of every day across the world. Digital technology knows no national borders. Thousands upon thousands of text messages are sent by disloyal men and women to those they're sleeping with out of the sight of their partners.

In my day, the only way a guy or girl could arrange a clandestine meeting would be over a hard-line (either a house phone or a pay phone). The cheater was forced to make risky calls from the home of their unsuspecting spouses, or secretly take a trip to a nearby pay phone and do it from there. Both of these methods of communication could often be spotted by the betrayed party quite easily.

Fast forward to now. It's now a cinch for a cheater to send messages to their secret lovers from work, a locked bathroom, even from under the bed covers while their current, faithful partner sleeps quietly, and, 100% unaware of what’s going on just 6 inches away from them.

It’s true; things are easier for cheaters these days…but not totally easy. Just as all others kinds of cheats - be it a card shark, a con man or a computer hacker - leave signs of their dishonesty behind, so do disloyal partners. And looking for the right signs, in the right places, is the absolute best way of knowing for sure if you can trust your partner.

You know now how easy it is for cheaters to communicate with their secret partners using digital communication but what are the signs, the indications, the clues of this kind of activity so you can be sure? This is risky business that demands absolute proof, not innuendo or paranoia on your part. Before you begin, you must ask yourself if you are really ready to know the truth and ready to handle the heart break. Or, are you willing to do what I recommend, that is, do everything in your power to save your relationship. This is tough stuff. It will take patience and the ability to keep emotions under control.

With that caution, let's take a look at some quick tips:

1. Computers offer cheaters a multitude of communication methods, including: email, instant messenger programs, chat rooms and forums. Although it can be difficult to tell what your partner is doing on line, without actually looking over their shoulder (not a good idea!), there are indications you can look for more that keep your investigation hidden.

Does your mate spend an increased amount of time at the computer for no apparent reason, perhaps when you're in bed or before you get up? Is your partner quickly turning off the computer monitor or turning it away from you when you enter the room?

Also, try checking the Internet browsing history on the computer your partner uses most often. Sometimes there are web pages, chat room locations or other tracks that will reveal if your partner has been taking part in Internet infidelity. At times, you may find that the browser history has been freshly deleted - this, as you can imagine, is equally suspicious.

There is also software programs you can buy and load on to the computer that will track Internet activity. Many parents find such software to be an effective tool to keep track of their child's Internet activity and they work under the radar.

2. As mentioned earlier, mobile/cellular phones make quick and private communication easy. If you feel comfortable doing so, checking your partner's phone's call history. Their address book and text message archive can provide you with a wealth of telling information. Bear in mind, though, that cheating partner's - in an effort to remain unfaithful - often keep their phones on their person most of the time. If your partner used to leave their phone lying around, but now never seems to do so, you must ask yourself why.

3. Last but not least, don't forget or ignore the "old" style methods of cheater communication. Many cheaters still use house phones to call their secret lovers. Check your itemized phone bill for calls to local numbers you don't recognize and that are not in your phone book. Also, pay attention to how your partner reacts when you walk into the room when they're on the phone. It's difficult to mask panic and surprise when the partner you're cheating on walks into the room while you're chatting to your secret significant other. Quick hang-ups could be a sign your partner's being disloyal over the phone and, perhaps, elsewhere.

By keeping your eyes peeled and ears open, you can exploit the advantages these new methods of communication offer cheaters and, hopefully, discover what's really going on.

By Jim DeSantis

Labels: catch, catch cheating lover, how, lover, mate, unfaithful

It can be a difficult thing to deal with when you suspect your significant other is cheating on you. The betrayal and the idea that someone you care about could cheat on you is enough to make your judgment clouded. It can be hard to figure out what is a sign and what is not a sign. It is a very confusing time and the information below can help you sort it all out.

Do not Make Excuses

Admitting to yourself that you are being cheated on is hard. You probably will try everything to convince yourself that it can not be true. Making excuses for your cheating partner is common. Explaining away problems is much easier than facing the truth.

In order to uncover a cheater, though, you have to face up to what is happening. Learn about the common signs of cheating and pay attention. It is no longer about your emotions. You should not live with a cheating partner because it will be much more hurtful in the end if you let it go.

Look for Signs

You may have to actually look for signs. You want to pay attention to everything. Look for anything new or different. Watch your interactions with your partner and with other people that know you both.

Take notes and keep a journal to help you put everything together. You want to make sure that something is a real sign and having all the evidence in front of your helps.

Know How to Spot a Lie

Lies are the best friend of a cheater. After all they are living a lie. You have to become skilled at recognizing lies and learning how to see through them. You should not only listen but watch when your partner is talking to you. There are many clues that can be picked up just by being attentive.

Body language often shows a person is lying. They may just look uncomfortable if they are not a good liar. They may also show classic signs of lying such as fighting or avoiding eye contact. Visual cues of lying can be anything from stuttering to making up stories.

Catching a lie can be a major breakthrough in catching a cheater.

Recognizing a cheater is not an easy task and you need all the help you can get.

By Kwame ofori

Labels: catch cheating lover, cheating, how, recognize, relationship, signs

If you have your suspicions that your partner is cheating don't let it eat away at you or try and push your fears to the back of your mind, prove it once and for all and set your mind at rest or catch that cheating spouse.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what state your marriage is in and if you believe your partner is having an affair now is the time to check it out and do a little investigation just to be sure.

Don't discuss your suspicions with your partner, if you are right you will just put them on their guard and if you're wrong you will create an unnecessary rift between you which may prove hard to recover from.

Take care when you start checking up on what they are doing. Don't do or say anything that makes it blindingly obvious that you suspect your spouse of cheating on you.

Start by looking for the obvious things such as a change in the way your partner dresses, a sudden desire to look good, a change in work patterns, an unusual interest in the gym, secrecy over phone calls or emails, a loss of intimacy in your marriage, lack of sexual interest or distance between you that never used to exist.

Cheating spouses often look and act guilty, give a general feeling that something isn't right. They try and avoid meaningful conversations, keep everything at a general and non intimate level. One thing for sure is that at some point they usually slip up, let something slip and if you have your suspicions you have to bide your time and get the proof before tackling that cheating spouse.

Start checking things that you have always had regular access to such as bank or credit card statements. If your spouse suddenly starts guarding their mobile or deleting their emails just ask a totally innocent question as too why the sudden secrecy.

Don't be afraid to ask questions, to show interest in their day, just keep on asking and if they start to appear uncomfortable, just keep your cool and ask some more. Nothing direct, nothing accusing and don't antagonise just slowly chip away until you get the proof that you need.

If your spouse is lying it's usually quite obvious, they will struggle to look you in the eye, become uncomfortable with quite reasonable and normal and discussions about their day and will make up stories, try and change the topic of conversation or find and excuse to go and do something else.

When your partner feels the sudden need to go out, try and find a reason to accompany them. If they squirm and come up with a reason that they need to go on their own push the issue, not too much when you first try the technique but just enough to see if they become more uncomfortable.

Always, remember what excuse you have been given and find a way to mention the activity in a subsequent conversation. It is a good sign that something is wrong when your spouse forgets what they were supposed to have been doing.

When your partner isn't going to be around for some time, check their clothes and personal belongings for notes or scribbled numbers. Try any numbers you find and see who answers. If you can check their mobile without raising suspicions go for it and if your partner says they are working late try and find a good excuse to have to ring them.

If you feel you've found enough to heighten your suspicions follow your spouse, check to see who they are meeting, if you have a reasonable excuse for being in the same area perhaps bump into them and see how they react.

Continue with your subtle investigations, without raising any suspicions until you have solid evidence. Don't ever show your hand, make any accusations or confront your partner until you have the proof. Never loose focus, remember what you have set out to do, catch the cheating spouse and then confront them with the hard evidence.

By Terry Ross

Labels: catch, catch cheating lover, cheating, guide, how, spouse, tips