Parenting Through Divorce

Update on Haiti Relief Effort - Help for Orphans International

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:04:00 +0000

Dear Friends and New Friends,

This is my personal update that I want to share with you today. If you didn't read my email from 2 days ago it is at the bottom of this one.

Help for Orphans International has a volunteer named Jonathan on the ground in Haiti right now. He is a pilot, personally using his own plane. I hear directly from Jonathan everyday.

He said there is a BIG need for morphine here in the hospitals (or at least oral narcotics). They are doing amputations without it. That might be the single most important item to distribute now. Apparently there are quantities in Port Au Prince but the army has taken over and distribution is very slow. Pass the word.

As I mentioned before, Jonathan has this knowledge because he has the only small aircraft on the ground in Haiti right now, which is shuttling in supplies and help. Due to his tireless efforts he has been able to bring medical personnel, supplies, food, water and medication directly to the people who need it most. It is because of the money we raise that enables him to continue to pay for fuel and supplies.

I want you to think about this for a minute. Can you imagine if your child, your brother, or your grandchild was in severe pain for days on end, with no medical care? Can you imagine your child losing ALL the family they have ever known and left to fend for themselves on the streets, surrounded by decomposing bodies? This is the situation for so many in Haiti.

These children need our help. I realize I may be sounding very dramatic here but this is the honest truth. I need every one of you to understand and pass on how severely help is needed there. Most of us, if not all, take for granted the food and water we have at our disposal. So many lives are being lost in Haiti – today - because they are lacking the simple essentials.

So, please, give whatever you can. A few dollars from everyone reading this will make a huge difference. Give up the Starbucks for just one week.

Text "support orphans" to 20222 to give $5 on your cell bill.

To make a larger contribution go to www.helpfororphans.org and click “Donate now" and most of all PLEASE spread the word to EVERYONE you know!

See our Press release released early this morning: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2010/01/prweb3505184.htm

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart!!

Love,

Josie Dobin
917.704.2131 mobile
Help for Orphans International
YouTube Video

"A one-time donation of $5 will be added to your mobile phone bill or deducted from your prepaid balance. Messaging and Data Rates May Apply. All charges are billed by and payable to your mobile service provider. Service is available on most carriers. Donations are collected for the benefit of the (Enter your charity name) by the Mobile Giving Foundation and subject to the terms found at www.hmgf.org/t. You can unsubscribe at any time by replying STOP to short code (ENTER SHORT CODE); Reply HELP to (SHORT CODE) for help."

How To Help Haiti

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:02:00 +0000

Hi,

I am urging you to please read this message and respond accordingly and then to please forward this on to all your contacts.

As you may know, I am fortunate to be working for Help for Orphans International, a charity founded by Sarah Ehrlich four years ago. She has done a lot of work helping orphans in Kenya and is now solely focused on helping the orphans affected by the earthquake in Haiti.

I don't like to spread bad news but we have a volunteer from our organization who's been on the ground there since over a week ago. Words cannot describe the devastation that he has described to me. Imagine a little child losing ALL their family, wounded, no place to live and with little food/water. This is TRULY the situation.

Sarah and myself are going to Haiti in the next few days to raise awareness and to strategize HOW we are most effectively going to help. We will also be purchasing food/formula/diapers in the Dominican Republic to bring to the most hard hit areas.

Our volunteer there named Jonathan flew his 4 seater aircraft 2000 miles from Sag Harbor, NY and is shuttling back and forth between neighboring areas bringing supplies and medical personnel to the most desperate areas. Today he texted me that he was enroute to bring saws and morphine to a medical unit there.

The only way we can keep him doing this is to continue to send him funds.

Do NOT think that they have ENOUGH help because they don't. What we are doing IS making a difference! Jonathan says that he has the only small aircraft shuttling that he has seen. Additionally, because his aircraft is so small he has been cleared to land at Port au Prince airport.

We can NOT continue to do what we're doing without more donations! There's just NO way! Sadly, the surrounding areas have taken advantage of this tragedy and the cost of fuel and food etc.. has skyrocketed! All your donations are 100% tax deductible and you can know that we are actually USING your money RIGHT NOW to make a difference! Anything helps!

Here's how to donate:

1. Click this now Help For Orphans, then select "donate now" on the top left navigation.

2. Text 20222 from you cell phone and type "support orphans" and you will be charged $5 on your next cell phone bill.

3. Call me at 917.704.2131.

More about us:

Help For Orphans

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you would like to be kept updated PLEASE email me directly and I will add you to our list!

Love,

Josie Dobin

"A one-time donation of $5 will be added to your mobile phone bill or deducted from your prepaid balance. Messaging and Data Rates May Apply. All charges are billed by and payable to your mobile service provider. Service is available on most carriers. Donations are collected for the benefit of the (Enter your charity name) by the Mobile Giving Foundation and subject to the terms found at www.hmgf.org/t. You can unsubscribe at any time by replying STOP to short code (ENTER SHORT CODE); Reply HELP to (SHORT CODE) for help."

Tonight: Trade Secrets of a Multi-Million Dollar Guru

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:50:00 +0000

Wow! I just finished reading the power points for Wednesday's webinar with my friend the ex-fund manager.

And, I've got to say, that in all my years in the trading business, this is the most content rich webinar I have ever seen. No hype, only hard core trading truths that not everyone is going to like.

Things like the fact that he and his hedge fund buddies used to hunt stops. Now he's teaching "civilians" how to make money off those hedge hunters.

If you are new to trading, this hour could save you thousands of dollars over the school of hard knocks.

Those who don't get information like this risk having their whole investment account being wiped out, before they've really had a chance to trade.

Don't miss out - Click here to register for this Free ETF and Money Management Seminar.

Exchange Traded Index Funds

For trading veterans I can guarantee you that the advanced position sizing tip is a golden nugget you'll use for increasing profits and decreasing risks in the years to come. This one tip could double your profits regardless of what your entry system is. The one tip alone can turn any average system into a winning system.

We'll cover:

- How to maximize your winners.

- Why most traders have it backwards when it comes to risk.

- How to eliminate 95% of trading stress and emotion.

- Why most traders have it backwards when it comes to winning percentages.

- Even how to become a professional money manager and raise millions, if you so desire.

That last one really surprised me. Because I know that if you really want to make millions in trading the fastest way is to use leverage with other peoples' money, when you are ready.

There are so many reasons to attend this F.R.E.E webinar Wednesday at 9pm EST. I honestly believe you're missing the boat if you don't take advantage of this opportunity. It won't be a waste of your time! I love sharing high quality content with my subscribers and this is going to be one of the best.

Our host has worked trades as large as $50 million during his money management career. He will share a little of his story, but most of the hour will be spent teaching you how to improve your trading.

See you then,

Exchange Traded Funds

Cheers,

Ave Ramel

P.S. That's right, $50 million advice, f.r.e.e, and a chance to win a free 1 year mentorship with a professional trader just by showing up.

*** Pay attention while our guest explains how you can make more profits with less risk trading the markets.

A Scientific Breakthrough

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:09:00 +0000

Hi,

At last, have finished the First VitaPlus Tour that will answer

a lot of your questions about this scientific breakthrough in

Health, Wellness, and Beauty.

You may now proceed to: First VitaPlus

The First VitaPlus Tour answers the ff:

- Five Power Vegetables

- Five Little Things You Should Know About First VitaPlus

- Prevention and Maintenance of Diseases

- Availability and Product Sizes

Cheers,

Ave Ramel

***Trust in the Lord with all your heart***

How The Rich are Debt-Free

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:01:00 +0000

Hi,

===========================================

Crisis ???

The Rich are debt-free and do really have

a lot of options in life.

If you want to be rich, you must know

- what kind of income to work hard for,

- how to keep it, and

- how to protect it from loss.

That is the key to great wealth.

Discover this kind of income in:

Rich Dad Cashflow

===========================================

Cheers,

Board Games | Year 2012 End of the World

'Fearless' 3-Year-Olds Might Be Tomorrow's Criminals

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:53:00 +0000

TUESDAY, Nov. 17 (HealthDay News) -- Children who are fearless at 3 years of age might just be poised for a life of crime.

According to a new study, poor fear conditioning at the tender age of 3 can predispose that person to break the law as an adult. Yet other factors, such as education of the parents, large family size, nutrition, physical activity, configuration of the household and other elements also play a role, the researchers concluded.

"There's no 100 percent correspondence between conditioning deficits and crime: Not all poor conditioners will become criminals and not all criminals have the early fear conditioning deficits," explained study author Yu Gao, a research associate in the department of criminology at the University of Pennsylvania. His findings are published in the Nov. 16 online issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry.

Specifically, what Gao and his associates set out to determine is whether dysfunction of the amygdala, an almond-shaped mass that resides deep in the human brain and is linked to fear conditioning as well as emotions and mental state, leads to an inherent intrepidness and disregard for the law.

Twenty years ago, the research team tested almost 1,800 children who were 3 years old from Mauritius, an Indian Ocean island off the coast of southeastern Africa, by exposing them to two sets of sounds, one with a short shrill noise, and the other deeper in pitch and with a pleasant tone, and then measuring the children's physical responses through an electrode attached to their index and middle fingers. Sweating upon hearing the loud noise indicated a sense of fear, while no sweat meant the child lacked fear -- that is, had poor fear conditioning.

Two decades later, using court records, Gao and his team tracked down 137 study participants -- 131 males and six females -- who had committed serious crimes involving property, drugs, violence and driving. These individuals had shown an absence of fear during testing at age 3, whereas 274 study participants who had grown to adulthood without a criminal record had displayed typical fear responses.

Experts agreed that the findings don't constitute a cause-and-effect situation, but hailed the study for its longevity and what the work adds to what is known about how childhood factors influence adult behavior.

"Any time you have a 20-year study, that's significant," said Dr. Elissa P. Benedek, an Ann Arbor, Mich.-based psychiatrist who has worked in private practice with children and adults for more than 40 years and is a past president of the American Psychiatric Association.

"It's good for putting another link in the chain in terms of what is early brain dysfunction, and what increases the risk for such behaviors as attention-deficit disorder and criminal activity. It's another link back to whatever we all ready know about early brain dysfunction that may cause problems later in life," Benedek added.

So what do the results mean for individuals with fear conditioning deficits and their loved ones, and for society at large? It's a wake-up call about potential problems, said Gao and other experts in the field. To enhance the proper working of the amygdala, which is believed to reduce criminal behavior in later life, enrichment programs are essential.

In fact, according to Gao, some at-risk children between the ages of 3 and 5 who have benefited from those programs, which include sound nutrition, adequate physical exercise and cognitive brain stimulation, had shown an improvement in brain functioning by age 11 that reduced the chances of criminal behavior by 35 percent 20 years later.

Addressing parental concerns, Benedek added: "Don't be discouraged if your child has early brain dysfunction. It doesn't mean that he or she is going to grow up and be a criminal. The brain can change and grow."

By Michelle Lodge, HealthDay Reporter

Web frenzy over T-shirt

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Thu, 28 May 2009 08:44:00 +0000

Something strange happened this week in Amazon.com's apparel section.

For a day or two, a black T-shirt featuring an image of three wolves baying at a full moon claimed the top slot at the online store's clothing bestseller list,, beating out the usual, unremarkable mix of Levi's 505 regular-fit jeans, Crocs clogs and Adidas running shoes.

Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes

And really, why wouldn't you buy the shirt, which is priced from $7.65 to $17.93, depending on your size? Just read the long and growing list of customer testimonials promising earth-shattering experiences or psychedelic vision quests upon purchase.

"I bought this shirt and instantly old girlfriends started calling me again," wrote one reviewer."My doctor says the cancer has gone into remission," wrote another. "

Thanks for changing my life!"The shirt's page at Amazon.com had quietly existed for years without much comment, but after a snarky link from CollegeHumor.com, the "Three Wolf Moon" shirt suddenly sprouted hundreds of five-star ratings.

Reviewers have dreamed up epics about its powers, weaving fantasies involving everything from the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland to the pop group Duran Duran.

As the joke caught on and got passed around the Web, Photoshopped spoofs of the shirt started appearing online -- featuring corgi puppies, spiders or haddock instead of the now-famous wolves.

CollegeHumor.com, a comedy site started in 1999 by a couple of high school friends who grew up together in Timonium, Md., also claimed victory this week for rigging an online poll run by the state of Nebraska to select a new license-plate design.

The site urged its readers to vote for what it deemed the most boring design available to Nebraska drivers. That gray-and-white plate won.Officials in Nebraska said they monitored Web traffic to screen out visitors coming directly from the humor site, but CollegeHumor.com was still, credibly, claiming the joke a success this week.

"Together we pranked the entire automobile-owning population of Nebraska," wrote a CollegeHumor.com editor, in a Wednesday posting. "Congratulations."

This type of online rabble-rousing appears to be catching on more than ever over the past year, said Tim Hwang, the organizer of ROFLCon, a convention dedicated to celebrating Internet memes.

After all, another Web-based prank crossed over into the real world just last month when a 21-year-old college student, known by the online moniker "m00t," sailed to the top of Time's "most influential person" list in an online poll, beating out the likes of President Obama and Oprah Winfrey.

Gathering nearly 17 million votes, the world's "most influential" person is the founder of another jokey Web culture site, 4chan.org, whose proprietor is known offline by the name Christopher Poole. If you don't get why the shirt, and its reviews, are so funny, don't worry.

CollegeHumor.com co-founder Josh Abramson said it's a case where the shirt is so uncool that it's cool."A lot of things that become popular on the Web are based around just being ironic and being an inside joke," Abramson said.

"This resonates with a geeky, hip crowd that is very Web-savvy. When something resonates with that circle, crazy things can happen."Abramson said his team had considered licensing the wolf shirt for sale.

CollegeHumor.com, which had 7 million unique Web visitors last month, also has an online store that sells T-shirts with ironic catchphrases and designs, called BustedTees.com. But it appears that the site may have been a bit slow to catch on to its own meme.

"We're kicking ourselves that we didn't," he said.The New Hampshire company that makes the "Three Wolf Moon" shirt said that it doesn't generally mind being the butt of this joke."You have to be able to laugh at yourself," said Michael McGloin, a partner and art director at the Mountain, who added that he finds some of the reviews to be "freaking hilarious."

The company certainly doesn't mind the shirt's recent uptick in sales: "Three Wolf Moon" is sold out, and the Mountain has started printing up a fresh batch.

It seems that the wolf theme was growing in popularity even before the Internet hipsters descended, McGloin said."Wolf shirts are super hot right now," he said. "It's the year of the wolf, I guess."

Click now to Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes

By Mike Musgrove, Washington Post Staff Writer

Discussing The Issue Of Divorce With Your Children

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Tue, 12 May 2009 12:21:00 +0000

A divorce can be a difficult time for any family, but communication is important. The children need to understand that they aren't responsible for what is taking place. They also need to realize that both parents love them and want to be a part of their lives. This can help children to deal with the many changes that will take place with a divorce.

It is a good idea for the parents to sit down with the children to discuss the issue of divorce. Some parents choose to do this with all of the children at one time. Others find it is better to do so with each child one at a time. This is often due to age differences as well as the individual personalities of each child. The responsibility of telling the children about the divorce should never fall on the shoulders of only one parent. A united front needs to be displayed from the start of it. The children will feel more secure hearing the information from both of their parents rather than just one of them.

The children don't need to know all of the details of why the parents are divorcing. It shouldn't turn into a blame game where each of the parents tries to get the children to take their side in the matter. What they do need to know is that their parents won't be staying together and how that is going to affect them.

Give children time to take in the information that is taking place. Even though they likely have an idea that things aren't going well in the home, they may be shocked by the idea of a divorce. Let them know they can come to either parent with questions that they may have about it.

It can be a good idea to have another meeting with both parents and all the children or each child one on one a couple of weeks later. That will give the children some time to deal with their thoughts about the divorce. They may be more ready to talk about it now than they were when you first told them about it.

Be ready to offer your children more support during the divorce process. Some children act out in anger because of it. Others many become withdrawn due to their emotions. It is important that their needs are addresses as too many parents are too wrapped up in their own feelings over a divorce to provide their children with the support they need.

Read more Discussing The Issue Of Divorce With Your Children

Encouraging Your Children To Go With The Other Parent When They Don't Want To

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:18:00 +0000

One of the hardest things you will have to do as a divorced parent is to encourage your children to go with your ex when they don't want to. As long as they aren't avoiding going due to some type of neglect or abuse your job is to encourage them to go. Some children just don't do well with change so the transition is quite difficult. You will be doing your children a favor if you work to make it as smooth as possible.

Don't let your own anxiety over them leaving show. If your children feel that you aren't okay with them going to see their other parent then they aren't going to be happy about it. Let them know that you will miss them while they are away but you are glad that they are going to be able to spend time with their other parent. If you know things that are planned for that time then remind them so they have something great to look forward to.

It may be a good idea for you to keep your plans to yourself about what you are doing while the children are gone. If they feel like you are doing something fun without them they may not want to go see their other parent. If they ask you what you will be doing let them know the basic things such as cleaning, working, reading a book, those types of things that they see you take part in all the time.

Let your child take items to the other parent's home that are familiar. This can be pictures, games, a blanket, or even a stuffed animal to sleep with. Too many parents have set limits that what is at their home has to stay there. This set up isn't one that benefits the children though in any way.

If you have set days where you and your ex spouse trade off the children, let them know what it will be. You can let them help to mark the days on the calendar that they will be with each parent. This will make it less confusing for them, especially if the parents have joint custody. This will mean there is more back and forth than when one parent only gets to have the children every other weekend.

Read more Encouraging Your Children To Go With The Other Parent When They Don't Want To

What To Do When Your Ex Doesn't Want To See The Children After A Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 12:14:00 +0000

In most divorces where people have children, they fight to be able to see them as much as possible. It can be hard to share them but that is what has to be done in order for everyone to win. A plan is made and approved as far as parenting time and the children are encouraged so that they can adjust to it. Yet not everyone wants to have a role in the lives of their children after a divorce.

As difficult as this may be to understand it is the truth. There are many reasons why a person doesn't want to have anything to do with their children after a divorce. They may feel that it is their family holding them back so they want to start all over on their own. Others have too many personal issues to take care of anyone but themselves right then. That has to be respected even though it can be difficult.

In other instances, the parent who leaves doesn't feel like it will be in the best interest of the children to be with them. They want what is best for them and they feel that is with the other parent. Some people have the misconception that it is only men who walk away from their children. Yet many women choose to do it as well.

Sadly, another scenario is that the parent is going to be with someone else. Their new partner may not be ready for a family or want children around at all. It is scary to think a person would choose a lover over their flesh and blood but it does happen. All of these scenarios do ensure the children are with someone who does want them though and that is the positive side of the issue.

Children can be severely affected by this type of scenario. They can definitely blame themselves for their parent removing themselves from their lives. Sometimes they will blame the parent they are with too for running them off. This is a discussion you need to have with your children. You can decide how honest you want to be with them about it.

Read more What To Do When Your Ex Doesn't want To See The Children After A Divorce

What Parents Need To Avoid When Getting A Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:12:00 +0000

When you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children. After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way. You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.

You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent. This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future. You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well. You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.

Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything. You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to. Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you’re soon to ex spouse’s residence any time that they want.

You never want to distance yourself from your children. You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent. You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent. It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults. It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children’s sake.

Do not try and buy the child’s affection with gifts and money. You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now. You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there.

If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run. It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce. It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them.

Should You Have An Attorney For A Divorce?

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 10:10:00 +0000

If you are thinking about a divorce or your spouse has already filed for a divorce, it is a good idea to get an attorney. This is something that you should do to protect yourself. You will have a lot of questions and you will defiantly need to have answers. You need to be made aware of all the possible outcomes and do what you need to in order to protect your future.

There is always the option of representing yourself in a divorce proceeding. However, this is not always the recommendation. If there are serious questions involved like children or assets, it is better to have the assistance of an attorney. The attorney can represent only one of the parities involved. If you are not able to afford an attorney, the judge may seek assistance for you from your spouse.

One reason to get an attorney for a divorce proceeding is because there may be spousal support involved. This is called alimony. Depending on the length of time you were married, the age and health of the parties involved, and the ability for one of the parties to earn income and maintain the marital standard of living, the court may order support paid by one spouse to another. This is different question from child support.

Spousal support can be for a limited time period or for an indefinite period depending on the circumstances. It can be reviewed if there is a significant change in the circumstances of either the former spouse. If the spousal support question is waived, then the party giving up the support may not ever come back to ask the court to award it again.

You may also want to have an attorney to protect pensions and retirement accounts. Pensions and retirement are marital property and it can be divided in a divorce. They can be given a present value based on the kind of pension and the parties’ rights to receive an income from that pension. Usually the court system is fair in this decision, but an attorney will fight for your rights and make sure that your side of the fight is heard.

If you are not happy with the attorney that you have hired, you should defiantly talk to them about it. Explain your case and make them understand why you are not happy with their work. If you cannot work out the situation with your attorney, you do have the right to find another attorney at any point in the game.

How To Protect Yourself From Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 09:06:00 +0000

When you learn that you are going to be getting divorced, it may be have been coming for a long time or it may come as a complete surprise. Either way, there are certain things that you can do for yourself, your children, and your finances. This does not mean that you have to take all of your bank accounts and all that you have and wipe them out.

You have to take the responsible interests throughout the marriage so that you can protect yourself and all that you before and after if the marriage ever dissolves. There are ways that you can act reasonably while you are protecting your interests. These are only precautions that you will need to take care of if the divorce is not being ended amicably.

Depending on how well you and your spouse can get along at the time of the divorce, you may choose not to act on some of the suggestions that are given. You may decide that you and your spouse can work arrangements for everything without arguing. Whenever possible, try and make everything go as well and as easy as you can.

You should always get an attorney when you are heading towards divorce. They will make sure that you are taking the necessary precautions so that you can protect what you have and all the assets you have accumulated during the marriage.

Try and protect all of your own personal property that you have accumulated over the years. You need to move papers and documents so that you are the only one that knows where they are. If you must present them at a court hearing then you must do so. However, you need to make sure that you can keep all of your valuables safe so that you have a better chance at keeping them throughout the divorce.

Once of the best things that you can do before you decide to get married, is make sure that you know the person. Get to know them for a long period before you decide to take the big step into marriage. You have to be able trust so that you can feel good about marrying them. Have a long engagement so that you can see if the person changes any. If so, you may want to get out of the relationship before you decide to marry. This could be the best thing for both of you.

Can One Spouse Prevent A Divorce From Happening?

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

If one person does not want to get a divorce, but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce, then the spouse cannot stop the divorce. This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce.

A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide. There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may also be a choice for some situations.

If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce, the spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action. This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court.

Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage. One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he is alone with his mistress. This is known as a set up and it is an argument that one can make in court to defend their actions.

Provocation is the inciting of a spouse to do a certain act. If a spouse is suing for divorce and claims that the other spouse abandoned them, the other spouse might defend their suit because they were provoked by the abandonment. Collusion is if a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a time and the couple doe not want to prolong the situation. This may lead the couple to mislead the court and pretend that one of them was at fault just to get out of the marriage.

These above defenses are not usually used for a few different reasons. Proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense. Your efforts will usually bring nothing to the situation. Chances are that a court will eventually grant the divorce. A person should not have to stay married if they do not wish too. The law is designed to give people the opportunity to get out of the marriage if that is what he or she really wants to do. If you are involved in a marriage that you don’t want to be in any longer, the process can be hard to get through, but you can make a divorce really happen, and put an end to the marriage.

Single Parents and the College Financial Crunch

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:40:00 +0000

The price of gas and college continue to go up, up and up. The cost of college and university attendance is twice as expensive as eight years ago. Gas prices may ease, but financial experts are not predicting any drop in college expenses within the foreseeable future. Congress is cutting back on loans and government sponsored scholarships. Industry has also cut back on the amount of scholarship dollars.

We hear a lot of talk about dead beat moms and dads who won't pay child support even when they can afford it. They run and hide, change their names and get new social security numbers. Some even cross the border. Then they get lost in the system, sometimes forever. Expect them to help with college, forget it! And, this year, every college student will graduate owing an average of $23,841. In four years the amount is expected to be well over $30,000.

Do not despair single parent. Whether you have lost your spouse through sickness, divorce, accident or? You do have options, but do not "put off" discussing college with your student. Do it now! Find out if he/she has college on the mind. Is there a particular institution? What are they interested in studying? They may not know right now. Have they thought about the reality of college costs? How do they think it will be paid? Who will pick up the bill?

What is a single parent, you, supposed to do? What are your alternatives? First, realize that your child may not be interested in college right now. But, many students change their minds at the last minute. In fact, almost 81% of all students, who claim no university interest, change their minds as a high school senior. You cannot afford to take a chance. Don't wait. Have that conversation now!

Start in middle school/junior high talking about the importance of college. Send away for college literature, and leave it in conspicuous places around the house. Have relatives or friends discuss their college experiences in front of your child. Take short visits on the weekend to the college or university in your area. Make sure to visit the canteen and order a sandwich. Go to the campus bookstore. Get some souvenirs to take home. Mention the importance of grades.

Encourage the college spirit by supporting teams in person or on television. Stress the value of college scholarships in money as well as prestige. Get active. Start accumulating books, magazine and newspaper articles on scholarships. And, check out local libraries for scholarship materials.

Even with government and business cutbacks, there are still billions of scholarship dollars out there. Your student can win with support and encouragement. Become a promoter and persuade the whole family to "CATCH SCHOLARSHIP FEVER." You can do it. Your student can do it. You know you can, and the financial reward can result in thousands of dollars.

Remember, the scholarship effort is truly a family affair, and everything in life is a decision. Make the right one today for your scholarship success.

By Dale Clifton, The Scholarship Doctor

What Does Your Child REALLY Need From You?

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:27:00 +0000

Most parents want to be good parents. Yet parenting is one of those things that does not have hard and fast rules. So how do we know what to do? How do we know what will support our children in being all they can be?

One of the most important things for parents to do is to learn to trust their own intuition. Your feelings tell you when you are on course or off course in your behavior with your children. When things feel right inside, then you know that you are being a truly loving parent, and when they feel wrong inside, you know you are out of alignment with what is in your highest good and your children's highest good.

I remember my mother telling me that she used to put her fist in her mouth to stop herself from crying and from picking me up when I was an infant and cried. She had read in Dr. Spock that babies should not be picked up when they cry, that it is good for their lungs to cry, and that she would spoil me if she picked me up. But her insides were telling her the opposite - that babies cry when they need food, changing, or love. It is so sad that she followed Dr. Spock instead of her own inner knowing.

Now research has proven that babies who are not picked up when they cry become more dependent and insecure than babies who are kept with their mothers. In other countries, babies sleep with their parents until they no longer want to, feeling safe all night. In our country, most babies are alone at night, some crying themselves to sleep. This is not only sad, it is not healthy for the baby.

So the first thing your child needs from you is to trust your inner knowing rather than any book you read.

Your child needs your loving presence - not your busy preoccupied presence. For your children to feel important to you, they need to feel you fully present with them - reading to them daily, playing with them, holding and comforting them, and listening to them.

Your children need for you to create a healthy environment for them by feeding them healthy food, restricting screen time - TV, computer, video games - and making sure they play outdoors and get enough exercise. They need your encouragement to develop their hobbies and interests. They need you to try natural remedies before resorting to drugs for illness, so that you don't set them up for more illness with the side effects of drugs.

They need for you to be a good role model of self-care. Children need to see their parents taking full responsibility for their own feelings instead of being victims and blaming others. With this role modeling, they will also learn to take full responsibility for their own feelings. Learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach will support you in becoming this loving role model for your children.

Children also need you to be a role model for care of the environment. My daughter told me that my 3-1/2 year-old grandson got very upset with the checker at the market for using a plastic bag. "No, no plastic bags! It's bad for the environment!" he told the checker. By role modeling caring for our planet, we can raise children who are much more conscious of taking care of our environment.

Your children need to see you being connected with a spiritual Source of love, peace and wisdom in order to naturally connect with their own higher power. By developing your spiritual connection, they can learn to have their own.

What do your children really need from you? They need you to learn to be all you can be so they have the role modeling and permission to be all they can be.

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Top 7 Parenting Tips For Good Parenting: Bring Out The Best In You And Your Kids!

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:28:00 +0000

Even though we need a license to do many things in life - everything from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing -there is no license required to become a parent and this is often the trickiest of all of the above activities!

Parenting today is far more difficult than it was, even a generation ago. Many well-intentioned parents are using outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience daily frustration and stress in their home.

Below you will find my top 7 tips for good parenting. These tips inspire children to want to be well behaved, can reduce family fights and boost family joy.

Good Parenting Tip #1 - If you love your kids-put yourself first!

One of the best things we can do for our children is to give them a foundation for becoming a happy and healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents-it needs to become a necessity. You need self-care both for being a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many children are living with parents who are stressed out and frankly, not at all fun to be around. If you are repeatedly burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent burnout-not a pleasant thing for you or your family to experience.

Good Parenting Tip #2 - If married-put your marriage before your kids!

Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation S-Generation Spoiled-is on the rise? Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. With divorce statistics still hovering around 50%, children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages and divorce- much worse for them than missing out on a couple of toys or brand name jeans. Take a stand and put some time into your marriage (like go on a date night) -for your whole family's sake!

Good Parenting Tip #3 - Cherish your children

No matter what your situation-no matter how often your children drive you crazy-know there are thousands of people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who would give anything to just have a child. Strive to remember how truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times a day. Regularly tell them how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be their parent.

Good Parenting Tip #4 - Teach your kids to fish-don't fish for them!

Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance-which is vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids learn how to do things for themselves. One of the chapters of my first book on effective parenting is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. These same doubting parents are often happily surprised when they see it is possible-in their own home and in this century! Household chores teach basic life skills everyone needs to know. Also, chores give children the opportunity to contribute to the household in a positive and meaningful way.

Good Parenting Tip #5 - Focus on what you like, not on what you don't

If children aren't being appreciated and aren't getting attention for what they do well-and when they behave well-you better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving well. The more you notice what you like about what they're doing, the less likely they are to morph into destructive little terrors and the more likely you will inspire your child to repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.

Good Parenting Tip #6 - Give respect and expect it in return

Don't do anything to your child that you wouldn't want your child to do to you. The list of things you don't want to be doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, and put downs. There are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these "Ultimate Parenting" tools that are based on mutual respect-not fear based punishment that only teaches our kids to not get caught next time!

Good Parenting Tip #7 - A family that plays together stays together!

Have fun-play with your kids. Laughing, tickling, and enjoying one another's company is the foundation of a happy home. Having fun can go a long way towards preventing much of the needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides your family with much needed quality time.

These seven effective parenting tips above are child-proofed, effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out the best in you and in your children, you will reap the rewards that come from the peace of mind-knowing that you did all you could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.

By Kelly Nault-Matzen

Parenting Falls Into Four Major Categories. . . What Type Of Parenting Method Do You Prefer?

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:21:00 +0000

Parenting is a great word - one that evokes both immense joy and fear. You cannot feel the joy without having foreboding thoughts about whether you would be able to handle the huge responsibility that God has entrusted you with. Can I be a good parent? This is one of the questions on the top of every parent’s head; no matter how self-assured they look.

What Parenting Method Is the Best?

There are four major types of parenting, i.e. (i) uninvolved, (ii) indulgent, (iii) authoritarian and (iv) authoritative. Though some of these parenting methods can be learn and absorbed, it usually happens naturally - depending upon the innate nature with which the parent is born. Before we learn and decide which one of these parenting methods is the best, let us understand each one of them.

Uninvolved Parent

This parenting method is usually reflected when the parent(s) do not really bother about what is going on in the life of the child. They provide the minimum necessities and do not bother about the psychological needs of the child. This type of parent has neither any demands nor response. The child is an incidental thing in the house.

Indulgent Parent

These types of parents are always there ready to do anything the child wants even before they ask for something. They take joy from being there all the time and have very few demands if any on the child. Here you will find two divisions - there are parents who like to consider their children as their friends and allow them liberties as they grow, and the other type, which allows the child to do as he/she pleases in the belief, that at the right time they will grow out of it and become responsible adults.

Authoritarian Parent

This type of parent is dictatorial. The child has no rights, no capacity to think what is right or wrong for him and hence, all the decisions need to be taken by the parent. Further, the child should unflinchingly obey all the rules that they impose. In this type too, there are two divisions, i.e. parents that recognize and accept certain boundaries that the child erects with age; and the other is who is overly intrusive and demanding.

Authoritative Parent

This is the most accepted parenting method. It involves being both demanding and responsive at the same time, which in turn keeps the parent in constant touch with the feelings, ambitions, fears and hopes of the child. This type of parent is like a rock in the child’s life and at the same time is capable of instilling in him the core values of life.

Now, look at each of these descriptions and find out which type you are currently and which areas you want to improve in.

By Ann Merier

Tips Of Positive Parenting Skills - Parenting Guidelines For Single Mothers

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:43:00 +0000

Raising children as a single mother is a challenge. There are moments when you find that your life is in complete disarray and your house is in complete chaos. This is the time when you feel that you lack essential parenting tips as a single mother. It is better to have such arsenal at your disposal before you land in such a situation.

There are numerous ways to deal with various age groups. Confronting strategies for toddlers differ with those for teenagers. Your 16 year old boy is likely to make fun of you if he is told to spend some time in a thinking chair as he is being obstinate, stubborn and aggressive. On the other hand a few minutes time out will do wonders while tackling a 4 year old. So to be successful as a single mother you should have a set of parenting tips for each group.

Material regarding good parenting skills is widely available. A number of genuine and self proclaimed specialists are also around. A list of websites, books and other means in this aspect would probably require paragraphs. To make your life easy I would mention a few here. You can start with a library or a book shop. Single moms bringing up toddlers and smaller children will really benefit from the Parents Magazine.

Unfortunately the major content in Parents Magazine is aimed at married parents. Among the various books available, you should go through at least a couple of them. Those who like Dr. Fan will recommend you his books. Dr. Terry Brazelton is an authority on child behavior. He is a father as well as a pediatrician. Even though a number of his books may be out of date, the attitude of babies and other children has remained the same since long. Last of all "The Well Trained Mind" is a good choice for those who want to train their children early.

A number of websites and organizations are available to assist single mothers with parenting tips. A renowned group is Parents without partners. They provide a wide range of information for single mothers. In the UK similar information is available on gingerbread. Early Start and Head Start Programs deliver the same services in the USA. You may not be eligible for their preschool assistance, but you can participate in courses and seminars which they conduct on positive parenting. Last of all you can look for topics like single parenting and single mothers through any search engine on the internet and get the required information. So if you are a single mother in search of parenting tips now you know where and how to get the required information.

If you require some parenting tips just now I can give you a few basics. As an adult you should be in control. Keep yourself composed all the time. This may not be easy, particularly when you find green finger paint all over your kitchen. The moment you become angry and irritable, you lose your composure. Such a situation may make your little child scared. To be successful always be composed and exercise control over your voice and actions.

By Jennifer A. Gardner http://www.singleparentingfordummy.com

Parenting Through Divorce Is A Responsibility

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:48:00 +0000

Parenting through divorce is a responsibility for biological parents regardless if they choose to remarry or not. If remarriage does take place, a parent is a parent forever and cannot be replaced. A child usually remains loyal to a biological parent and will resist an intruder who tries to take the absent parent's place.

It is natural for stepparents to feel competitive with their predecessors and may attempt to act as a better spouse and parent. Children usually see their behavior as an attempt to take over and do not like to see their biological parents on the losing end of a contest. Resentment may be the result due to the fierce loyalty to the natural parent.

Some children become torn with guilt and loyalty conflicts between the stepparent and biological parent. The relationship between stepparent and stepchildren works best if the space formerly shared by the absent parent and child is protected rather than filled. A stepparent needs to develop new rituals and a unique role with a stepchild without moving in on the absent parent's turf.

It is important to define the role of the stepparent to avoid confusion in children about who is in charge of them and their actions. The parent, stepparent, and child need to communicate and agree on the boundaries and rights of the stepparent. Stepparents and stepchildren need to build a relationship with each other before attempting any form of discipline. Allow the biological parent to handle discipline while the stepparent bonds with stepchildren.

Most children worry that accepting the stepparent is being disloyal to the absent parent. Try not to interpret your stepchildren's resistance or behavior as negative. It is natural and to be expected for a while. When biological parents allow stepparents the role of disciplinarian, children often feel betrayed and are likely to be at odds with both stepparent and parent.

In the beginning, a stepparent may feel threatened by the co-parental relationship between biological parents. The stepparent should never be involved with an ex-spouse in an angry or abusive way. That would be detrimental to the trust children have in adult behavior. Any conflict should be settled between co-parents, not the stepparent.

By Mr. Vicente C. de la Fuente Jr http://onlinedivorceclass.net/

Making Special Occassions Comfortable For Children After A Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:34:00 +0000

It is very important to make special occasions comfortable for children after a divorce. You may find it is better to have birthday parties at both homes and most children will love the extra attention. However, there will be some events where they can't be divided and that is where communication between the parents is essential.

Children don't get a say as to what is going to happen due to a divorce. So it is up to the parents to always keep their best interests in mind. When your child has a dance recital, a school play, sporting events, dances, and even graduation they will want both parents to be in attendance. You don't want everyone to be tense due to who will be attending the event either.

There are many children from divorces families with sad stories to share. They will tell you how their parents were fighting during a certain gathering. Some children will stop being involved in various activities just so they can avoid the conflict that will arise when their parents show up at the same event for them.

Other children have stories of one parent refusing to attend a special occasion due to the other parent planning to be there. A child should never be placed into such a difficult situation where they have to choose one parent over the other. It can backfire on the demanding parent too because their children may end up resenting them for acting in such a manner.

It doesn't matter how old the children are either - it will still affect them. I have seen women cry on their wedding day because their mother wouldn't attend the ceremony if the father was walking her down the isle. Young children are deeply affected by this type of conflict. Don't assume that they don't know what is going on as children tend to pick up on many issues that parents don't give them credit for.

Read more Making Special Occassions Comfortable For Children After A Divorce

When You Need To Protect Your Children From A Parent After A Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:13:00 +0000

It can be difficult to decide to get a divorce when you are afraid of what will be going on with your children when they are out of your sight. Sometimes it is unfounded fear that has to do with control issues. Other times though it has to do with the history of the other parent that has lead up to the divorce.

If a parent has problems with alcohol or drug abuse the children may be in danger. There is enough evidence to suggest that the behaviors of such individuals are often unpredictable. A history of violent behavior is another reason to try to keep the children from being alone with that parent. Even if the children were never physically harmed, they may have witnessed such behavior or been emotionally abused.

Sexual abuse is a complaint that can come up as well. This is even harder to prove as many parents claim it as a ploy to prevent children from leaving. It has been proven false in enough cases to make judges weary. Yet sexual abuse on children at the hands of their own parents does happen. Make sure you follow the legal advice of your attorney if you have such claims to bring up in order to protect your children from further abuse.

It is very important that you have as much information documented as you can. While you don't necessary want to drag your spouse through the mud you have every right to protect your children. You may have documents on file with the local police department. Yet many people don't report such incidents and so they may not be there.

Document witnesses though that may have seen what was taking place. Neighbors may have seen arguments, friends may have seen bruises, and your doctor may have information on file as well. Keep in mind that the courts may view a great deal of the information like this you bring in as hearsay but do what you can to get them to see the relevance of it.

Read more When You Need To Protect Your Children From A Parent After A Divorce

Good and Bad Aspects of Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 04:08:00 +0000

Opting for divorce creates a lot of trauma and emotional disturbance in the lives of the people. Different people involved in divorce react differently to the situation. For some, it is a liberating experience, giving them space for their intellectual and spiritual growth. For others, it may create financial problems leading to a drastic drop in their standard of living. Some may have to move away from their children for ever.

How to adapt to life after divorce depends on the temperament of the individuals. Some make full use of their new-found freedom and enjoy life to the hilt by exploring new horizons. On the other hand, many divorcees keep sulking and thinking all the time about their terrible past.

Divorce changes your life in different ways. Sometimes, it is for the better.

Individual Liberty: In marriage, you are duty-bound to behave in a manner which would be acceptable to your partner. Your likings, tastes and hobbies should conform to those of your partner. This drastically curtails your individual freedom. After divorce, you become free to live your life the way you want. You have the freedom to socialise and come home any time you want. You do not have to give an explanation about your actions to anybody. You can pursue the career of your choice and indulge in your hobbies.

New Beginning in Life: Divorce enables you to start your life afresh. You are free from the restrictive atmosphere of marriage. You no longer have to go through any type of verbal or emotional abuse. You can choose your lifestyle according to your capability and liking without any opposition from anyone, live in any city of your choice, travel anywhere in the world and plan your life as you want.

Romantic Life: Marriage imposes certain duties and obligations on you in life. After saying your sacred vows with your partner, you cannot think of having any physical relationship outside the relationship. It creates a sense of guilt in you if you find yourself attracted to someone. But divorce gives you the freedom to pursue your love interests. You can start dating again and experiment with your love life. If you find somebody attractive and suitable to your aspirations, you can again think of going for a long and steady relationship that may result in marriage.

Financial Empowerment: After marriage, your assets and finances are merged with your partner's. Your decisions about buying something new are to a large extent influenced by your spouse's liking and disliking. You may be earning well but if your spouse is a spend-thrift, you may not be able to save enough and live your life like the way you want. However, after divorce you have your whole income to spend on yourself. You can not only have enough savings but also have the kind of lifestyle you have always wanted. You can buy anything you want without seeking permission of anyone.

However, divorce is not all fun and games. There are many negative consequences too, such as follows:

Single Parenting: Children are actually the ones who suffer the most due to parental divorce. They need both the parents for their emotional nourishment and support. As a single parent, you realise that you are working doubly hard juggling the household work with your job and managing the children. You have to run in all directions, dousing fires. You hardly get any time for your own leisure and comfort.

Financial Problems: Generally, after marriage, the responsibility of earning bread for the entire family comes on the husband’s shoulders while the wife takes care of children and manages household work. She often leaves her career and devotes herself fully to family life.

In such a scenario, if divorce happens, then it is the wife who bears the brunt and suffers the most. She has to immediately look for a suitable job according to her qualifications. This is not an easy task because so many years of being out of the job market proves to be a disadvantage for her.

If her children are young, then the financial burden increases even more as the woman has to hire a reliable and full-time baby sitter to look after the kids. She is now responsible for taking care of household expenses such as house rent and educational fees of the children. If the woman is not qualified enough or does not have any professional degree as well as experience that are required for getting a good job, then it will add substantially more problems to her already hard-pressed life.

The husband also has to suffer financially after divorce as all the family assets get divided between him and his ex-wife and he also has to pay maintenance to her for many years.

Emotional Insecurity: Divorced people live a lonely life. They do not have anybody to share their feelings and give them emotional support in the times of crisis and challenges. They do not get the security and the feeling of intimacy of the kind that married people enjoy in their day-to-day lives.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on Data Recovery see http://www.fields-data-recovery.co.uk

Protect Your Child's Self Esteem And Identity During A Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:38:00 +0000

Children experience an array of emotions when they find out their parents are getting a divorce. It is no different from what the adults feel yet they may not have all of the facts. This can result in children blaming themselves for the divorce. They will remember all of the times their parents had a conflict over them.

It is very important to talk openly with your children about the divorce. They need to know that they aren't the cause of it. This will help them to have a very good sense of self worth. Many children from divorced families end up with low self esteem as they grow up being unsure of their role in all of it.

Each person needs to have their own self identity, and that is even more so when they parents have gotten a divorce. Children need to be able to follow their own dreams and engage in activities that make them happy. Trying new experiences can also help them to cope with what is going on as well.

Every attempt should be made by both parents to keep some common things the same during the divorce. Children will recognize this and it helps them to get their footing back. Stability is very important for children to thrive. When you through in new family dynamics as well as living someplace new it can be very overwhelming.

It is very important for parents to encourage their children to talk openly about how the divorce is affecting them. Too many children hide what they truly feel as they don't want to make things more difficult for the parents. They can see they are already hurting and they don't want to compound that. Children can be very compassionate that way.

Read more Protect Your Child's Self Esteem And Identity During A Divorce

Divorced Dad Tips: Finding A Great Lawyer

noreply@blogger.com (Jhen) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:36:00 +0000

DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.

Finding a great lawyer when you are a divorced dad can be challenging. Here are some helpful insights:

Any dad looking to gain or expand visitation or custody rights must do some research to find a lawyer that has a track record in Family Court. Not every lawyer has the knowledge or experience needed to help you. There are specific steps you can take to find the best lawyer for you.

First, check the lawyer's track record. He should be able to show you final orders from a court in previous cases that show what the lawyer has achieved. Whatever the particulars of your case, you need to see your lawyer's track record, to see if the lawyer is capable of obtaining the results you are seeking.

If the lawyer you are interviewing refuses to show you orders, you should tell him that you understand the purpose of a lawyer is to go to court and prove a point. A large part of proving a point hinges on being to present evidence.

Many lawyers will get flustered at this point. But you asking them for proof of their assertion that they have the experience to help you achieve the results you are seeking should not be difficult.

You can add, "I don't need to see the names of your former clients. But I do need to see that you represented other fathers and assisted them in obtaining a favorable court order in this type of case." It's not an unreasonable request - after all you’ll be paying thousands of dollars.

Another thing to consider when looking at the orders the lawyer has obtained is whether they were reached by consent. If an order is on consent, the case was easier than if it was argued before a judge. If the ruling was reached by arguing the merits of the case before a judge, then the lawyer actually had to "duke it out".

One last thing: If he refuses to show you court orders, move on. Picking the right lawyer can save you lots of time and money. It can mean the difference between winning and losing.

Divorced dads looking to get a joint custody arrangement or even sole custody cannot just walk into court and expect a favorable outcome. The court system can be a treacherous arena. It can sometimes feel similar to stepping back to the Roman times when they used to throw people in with the lions. Finding a great lawyer requires the right set of skills.

You can win in Family Court if you adopt strategies and tactics of successful divorced dads, most importantly waging peace on behalf of your children, instead of waging war.

Finding a lawyer who understands this and who can show you they've been successful in Family Court takes time, patience and effort.

But the results are well worth it: Peace for you and your children.
During my divorce, I wished for a divorce roadmap. That's why we created a weekly telewebcast, to help men like yourself.

If you've lost in Family Court, don't give up. There is always hope. You've likely lost because you didn't understand that winning means learning how to effectively "wage peace" in Family Court.

It's definitely tougher to improve and win when you're a dad in Family Court. Base your game plan and strategies upon those of the many successful fathers. You will improve your chances of success immeasurably. Get help from dads who have done what you are doing.

About the Author
We can help you learn the successful strategies of fathers who have won in Family Court. Join us on our weekly calls at http://www.DivorcedDadWeekly.com where we will share with you what works for successful divorced dads, so you can be one too.